Hate Your Enemies

2026. im watching snl w dad. 5 cats. alive. life is good. imn useless but im famous. here i am now entertain us. i digress im older. better perspective. funnier. more self assured. kurts been gone 32 years! i was 11 turning 12. im 43. 16 years older than he was when he died. hes been gone 5 years longer than he was here. and yet. dave grohl may suck. courtney may lie. krist may be silent. pat is pay. they meet every so often. but the music remains the same. its a gift passing the torch. i relish the role I fought for. the history man. huxley from demolition man. frances bean is 33. she has a kid. w tony hawks kid. truth and fiction and all.. the songs are so special. his life affects me to this moment. its so relevent now. the world burns. but cobain is a light. 32 years later. hate your enemies save your friends find your place speak the truth finally got there. bong.

31 years later

its 2025. im home. writing a book. 42. still here. chasing the 1 to 1. now im useless and im famous here we are now entertain us. kurts more important than ever to me at 42. the worlds broken. his words stay the same. its all truth. its needed now. the vandals. punk. grunge. its all a memory. just like kurt. the words echo. his daughter is a mom to tony hawks grandkid. what a world. kurts words set me on a path. follow it far. hate your enemies save your friends find your place speak the truth better than religion. bong.

Goodbye My Friend Its Hard To Die

 30 YEARS. How? 3 years longer than he was here. Those 3 years 91-94 he was making stuff that reverberates through the decades. It mattered then. It matters now. Its amazing watching time unfold just to see every generation discover Kurt Cobain. He was able to articulate the entire human experience better than anyone could to a certain demographic in a certain time in life

I remember 04 at fsu calling nick at 10 years. I remember 14 in st lucie married at 20 years miserable and now at 30 years im back where i started in 1993. Throw down your umbilical noose so i can climb right back.

The most important gift I got from the music was the fuel to write my own story and be my own original self. What a gift to find at 11 years old.

I miss what could have been but thankful for what was.

He was a 27 year old artist who died like all the artists you came up with. Except this one was Kurt Cobain and unlike your people he was the one who changed the world 

Everyones here in 24. Be thankful.

Hate your enemies

Save your friends

Find your place

Speak the truth

https://youtu.be/zscZUd9CjuI?feature=shared

Til the end.

Peace Love empathy

J

The Priest They Called him

 29 years.

It never slows down does it? I do this every year, like a parent checking his kids height on a door post.

Its funny how kurts been a throughline my whole life. His band too

Im old now. Youthful rage has turned into 40 year old apathy. You cant change the world if you dont change yourself. Kurt was a really damaged guy. I met alot of peeps like him in comedy I think.

And then one day the stories over

Life moves on and the apex you thought you were at moves because life moves and the people alive cheering you arent all alive anymore and the new peeps here just dont get it...they got their own that you arent part of. Its theirs. Respect.

But this is mine. Always will be. Will live the lessons to make the world better

Otherwise whats the point

Teenage angst has paid off well

Now I am bored 

And old.

Res ipsa loquitor

.j

I Made An Easy Friend

 So this year it has been 28 years since Kurt died at age 27. Hes been dead longer than he was alive, a fate shared by literally everyone who has ever lived. The difference here is that Kurt was here already when I was born then died when I was 11. And now im 28 years later and the music matters as much now as it did when I was a kid. People come and go. They disappoint you. They arent perfect. But music is forever. The things you make end up being made better than the person who made them. That happens. Thats life. 

My own life has been so fucked up from jump Immediately related to Kurt Cobain. His mom has the same name as my own too. Kurt said he always felt like an alien and that he got dropped on earth alone. Then through life different other aliens would enter his life and theyd find each other and wouldnt be alone anymore. I get it. Still do.

I never knew the person. I own some of his things. I love the art. All of it. I learned so much from his life. Im grateful for the record. 

His ethos lives on in people like me.  The in utero liner notes said 

"If any of you in any way hate homosexuals, people of different color, or women, please do this one favor for us-leave us the fuck alone! Don't come to our shows and don't buy our records."

I live this everday. I try so hard to live up to this myself everyday. I fuck up alot. But ill always try to do better. Cant quit. I learned that myself.

My rage has lessened at age 39. Ill be 40 soon. Life is never whats in your head. Im an athiest but these words spoke to me in a way nothing else has in the 28 years since I first heard them. Kurt once said

Hate your enemies

Save your friends

Find your place

Speak the truth

I live that every day too. Its exhausting and isolating but I sleep ok knowing I help my friends and I dont lie. One day I still hope to find my place and someone to do all this with. Solitude is peaceful and addicting but its not in my nature to stop. Andbagainst logic I still hate my enemies. Im trying really hard not to. I still do. But im trying.

Res ipsa Loquitor

Peace Love Empathy

Jak

I Thought You Died A Long Long Time Ago

 I write here once a year. It helps. I never plan ahead and write how I feel when I sign on. Always have.

So Kurt died 27 years ago. As long as he was alive. We passed the John Lennon event horizon and now he really is history. Its bizarre. Hes alive now as he was when I was 11 in spirit as I didnt know him. The sadness of not hearing new songs from him never waned and his lost still reverberates dailey. Ive never have an artist impact my life the way Kurt impacted my own. I hope somewhere in space Ill get to tell him sometime. 

Thanks for the 27 years. Heres to eternity

Peace love empathy Kurt

J-

26 and counting

Im 37 years old. Ten years older than Kurt was when he died. Crazy what that decade held. Marriage..divorce. sickness. Health. Corona. Pets. Deaths and thefts. Crazy times.  Usually i lament the man and the music.

I still love it. I miss it. I miss new music being exciting. Ill never have it back. That energy you get as a kid when a new cd came out. The album cover. The book inside. The promise of the words. Music. All the gloriois music. Ill miss it forever.

I hope people keep discovering kurt Cobain.  I remember him while he was alive.  I remember it all. Ill miss it forever.


Peace love empathy

J

25 Years Ago Kurt Cobain committed suicide

Man. Life goes by fast. We all mark the passage of time with events. 9/11, sports, death.  This is definitely a marker. I was 12. I knew who I wanted to become in 1994 and I didnt know how. Kurt Cobain is the one artist that got through to that 12 year old. He told me I could be quirky and weird and still do whatever I wanted to do as myself. Hate your enemies save your friends find your place and speak the truth. I love women and minorities and gay people because I got a head start on understanding not everyone grows up the same thanks to kurt Cobains music. I owe him  so much. Its a weird feeling being indebted to someone who isnt family or friends. He was my hero good and bad. A flawed hero. A voice of a generation. A fathe son and dad. We all lost that voice way too soon. Everything has been slightly worse since then too. Hes gone and hes never coming back. Cherish what we have. I wake up every morning knowing one day im going to die. I just try to figure out how to best use the time im alotted and hope for the best. And while im hoping....my soundtrack to life is so much better because Ill always be rocking Nirvana.


Peace love empathy Kurt. We all miss you.
J


Posted is the show from Bayfront park I went to in 1993 w my step brother. Enjoy.

That Stupid Club

27 Years
324 Months
9855 Days
236520 Hours
14191200 Minutes
851472000 Seconds

Thats all we got. It wasnt enough. It didnt matter, as it would never be enough. And that is part of why hes gone. I always got it. The music spoke right to me. Still does. I think about Nirvana everyday. Kurt Cobain changed my life and a part of me will always show that I think. He brought the truth and in a world absent of truth a man like Kurt is sorely missed. 24 years man. Hes almost been dead as long as he was alive and itll never make sense.


J


Top 27 list

1. Drain You- Nirvana
2. Needle In The Hay- Elliott Smith
3. Forget Her - Jeff Buckley
4. Holland 1945- Neutral Milk Hotel
5. Road To Joy- Bright Eyes
6. You and I (Could be so happy)- Jeff Buckley
7. All Apologies- Nirvana
8. Gimme The Loot- Notorious B.I.G.
9. Where Is My Mind- Pixies
10. Role Model- Eminem
11. Straight Outta Compton- NWA
12. Dissolved Girl- Massive Attack
13. Wake Up- Arcade Fire
14. East Hastings- Godspeed You! Black Emporer
15. Would?- Alice in Chains
16. Smack My Bitch Up- Prodigy
17. Coatcheck Dream Song- Bright Eyes
18. Kool Thing- Sonic Youth
19. I Love You Mary Jane- Cypress Hill w Sonic Youth
20. The National Anthem- Radiohead
21. Spin Spin Sugar- Sneaker Pimps
22. The World Has Turned- Weezer
23. Yonkers- Tyler the Creator
24. Something Against You- Pixies
25. DNA- Kendrick Lamar
26. Jesus Christ Pose- Soundgarden
27. You Know You're Right- Nirvana
--------

Afraid Of Never Knowing Fear

Another year. 23. Strange times and odd vibrations in the USA these days. 2017 is a very different world than 2007 and 2007 was very different than 1994. Kurt Cobain is still dead and its been 23 years. It hurts the same way in the same spot of my heart every year. I did not know him, I met him once as a kid, he was not family, he was a unique alien from another world who gifted us 200 some odd songs to last us a life time and even then it will always feel like it wasnt enough time because it was not in fact enough time. Nirvana basically lasted from 88 until April 5th 1994. Their prime was 91 to 94 and merely released 3 albums in Kurt Cobains life and even then that has to show how important his voice was is and always will be. Nirvana is my favorite band and Kurt Cobain is my favorite artist ever. He is missed and sorely needed. He killed hair metal and ushered in the best music the world has ever heard.  I always quote the 4 chords and the truth and nobody did it better. I miss his music and I will go listen to my favorites now


Mahalo


J

I'm Old, I'm Old, Or Thats What I've Been Told

22 years man. Its been a lifetime, more than enough time to buy a beer. It's terrible. The death is terrible. The loss of a parent is terrible. And selfishly for the general public like myself who did not know Kurt Cobain, it is terrible we lost his voice. God do we need that voice. He was a trailblazer in every sense of the word and now we're stuck with a copy of a copy of a copy in the form of just garbage music. I miss the new songs. I am grateful there have been new works of Kurts that have finally come to the light. I honestly thought You know You're Right would be the last new words I would ever hear from Kurt Cobain but thankfully a demo record was cut and a couple documentaries were made. They were enlightening and sad. It wasn't quite torture porn but it almost was. This obsession over Nirvana is not all that perplexing. The music is timeless and the man committed suicide at 27. Those two things will be linked forever. He was the savior of music much to his families chagrin and because of that burden (and lots of drugs and depression) we were not able to hold on to Kurt Cobain longer. 27 years and he lived a life time.

Peace Love Empathy Kurt Cobain

We miss you terrible

Res Ipsa Loquitor

J-

After Dinner I Had Ice Cream

21 years since Kurt Cobains body was found. 21 YEARS. That is absurd to me. Time keeps moving on without Nirvana. Life goes on. I have 32. I have lived  5 years longer than Kurt got to. He robbed the world, his wife, his daughter, his family and friends of his presence and talent. He was a generational talent. The world needs another Kurt Cobain. I am anxiously awaiting the HBO Documentary on 5/4/14 one day after my 33rd birthday. It will be the first time in a decade I will hear a new Nirvana song. A new song by Kurt Cobain in 2015. It might be the last time I get to experience that. Thats always the worst part of the story as a fan. Ive always felt a connection to the music since I grew up at the right time in this universe. I was 10 when I found Nirvana and 12 when he died. And to this day no other band has touched me the way Nirvana has. Elliott Smith came close, Jeff Buckley too. But there never will be another Kurt Cobain. Peace Love Empathy KDC, Grandma take me home I want to be alone.

Res Ipsa Loquitor 

J

into the 20 year void a story about a son. all in all is all we are

Todwy my friend got married, monday is my wifes birthday, I turn 32 may third. I saw nirvana play at bayfront park as a child. I have his autograph and concert ticcket in my office. All my heroes are dead. Elliott smith jeff buckley and kurt. The first music I fel in love with. I bought inutero in fifth grade and got my first Pl ixies sonic youth nirvana underground tape a month after kurt died while in middle school. Im an obsessive nirvana fan. I danced to drain you at my wedding. Mission accomplished.

I wonder what songs weve lost. I wonder how hed sound today. Nirvana surely would have disbanded and kurt would have gone michael stipe on us but that was a far better endimg tham what we got. He robbed all of us his family friends and his fans. It still resonates twenty years later. This blog is dead and so is kurt but the music lives on. I will always posttoday forever.

It was a normal day. I watched baseball spoke on the phone ups downs you know life. I wish I was still living in a world I could share w kurt cobain and I did for 12 years. I didnt know him. Our paths merely crossed briefly once and that was it. None of it mattered. All that mattered was the music a gift we still have. After 20 years I just am sad wondering what could have been and what we lost when kurt cobain decided to end his life. This is rambling but its really a story about a son who through his music saved a sick kid from florida he met one night in 1993. Peace love empathy wherever you are kurt cobain. The world is a far less special place without you.

res ipsa loquitor
j

Forever In Debt For Your Priceless Advice

Another year another april 5. The blog is dead but april 5 I still enjoy remembering kurt cobain. 19 years. Its like visiting with an old familiar friend. It reminds me of my youth good times and bad. I lived out a dream this year having drain you played at my wedding. It was a great day and im very lucky to have found my. I feel so far removed frombmy discovery of nirvana. I guess this is how beatles fans must feel. The sense of sadness over his death is always there the lament of all the songs well never get to hear and the overall sensation of feeling cheated isbas strong today as ever. The music never gets old. For me at least. I go months between listening to them now. Music always helped define me. Jeff buckley elliott smith kurt cobain helped me express my sadness through their words. Im not sad anymore my personal life is stable and I just dont have a need to lament things that never were since I almost have all I want in life. That does not mean nirvana and kurt cobain have been erased from my life the music has evolved to mean something else now at thirty years old. The music helps me remember everything good and bad aboutlife and no longer plays an active role in my life. Ill always love kurt cobains music and lament his death. Iveoutlived kurt by three years which always feels strange to me. I never knew him so it shouldnt be that way butbhe was a generational hero and musical savior and that is why everyone still listens to nirvana. Im glad hes not forgotten and im glad to have the music but like everything written or said about kurt today theres that postscript that he died way too young. He was a father and husband and should have stuck around for them and if he had wed all geto share the music as a very special ancilary benefit. I miss the joy of getting a new nirvana record. Im sad ill never do that again but am grateful for the memories of youth I got from kurts music. Peace love empathy kurt cobain.I hope youve found your peace somewhere I the universe that eluded you here. Peace love empathy to all J

Goodbye My Friend Its Hard To Die

So once again I've gone on another hiatus. I made it through spring training in one piece. I still have all my clients I kinda have my health and I have a girlfriend. All good things. For the vast majority of my life Ive had my career in order and my personal life in shambles yet for the first time in forever its the opposite which is nice but eventually I would love for both to be on the same level. Obviously I made it a point to write again today because it is the 18th anniversary of the discovery of Kurt Cobains body in the greenhouse in his Seattle home. Kurt shot himself april 5th 1994 but was not found until three days later. Ive posted every year on 4/5 or 4/8 to talk about kurt but Ill be very brief. The older I get the further removed I become from my childhood and the further removed I become from those early days of finding Nirvana. Kurt Cobain and his music put my life on a path that I never would have found had it not been for him. It was okay to be different it was okay to ask questions and it was okay not to fall in line. Being different was cool and from the time i first saw nirvana at bayfront park in 1993 til now I have always made it a point to question everything, always be different, and always do my best to stay true to myself. I owe a lot to Nirvana and I will always lament the music Kurt never got to make. Heres to the musician that changed my life, three chords and the truth. Mahalo

J

How To Disappear Completely

I feel like writing again after a long hiatus. I have had a ton of things happen and I havent had any outlets to get stuff out. I have a lot going on and a lot of ideas. I have my health issues and my family has had its share of problems as well. Its hard dealing with very private issues so publicly. I hate it and I wish so much of it would just go away. I'm happy to be as relevant as ever in my profession since that means all my clients are playing well. I've had to deal with a lot of jealousy from other agents in my age bracket since the majority of them are struggling to stay afloat while I keep on trucking. It's a lot easier to write about being an agent than actually being one, just ask the players which they would prefer, a guy willing to grind it out and do all the leg work or someone who just talks about the moral high ground in lieu of actually doing any actual work. There are a ton of frauds at the bottom of the industry but once you get past that you get the sharks at the top. I'm just trying to stay afloat a little bit longer since I am almost at the finish line. I am so thankful I have my clients in my life because without those relationships I would have no one right now outside of a few family members and a couple of good friends. I love these guys for everything they have allowed me to do with my life and I am so thankful I can still get up each morning to do this job. Maybe I'll disappear completely again after this post, maybe Ill write again tomorrow. I dont know anymore. All I know is that this is going to be a special year for me professionally and if I could just get the personal life on par with the career Ill have accomplished everything Ive ever wanted to do and that is all anyone could ever ask for, my health be damned.

Mahalo

J-

Wont You Believe It Its Just My Luck

Sept. came early for Taylor Green. Very happy for a very special young man from a very special family. Ive known the Greens for 6 years now and I can say today is one of the more special days in my career. Every time one of my clients achieves his dream of playing in the major leagues its a great moment but when you're with someone as long as Ive been with Taylor it adds a little something extra to the moment. I remember all the struggles and sacrifices he has mad going through the minors going from late round draft after thought to minor league player of the year to major leaguer. What an impressive situation.

Can't wait til 9/1

Mahalo

Nice Life

Ill get to this soon.

The Only Time I Miss You Is Every Single Day

It seems that real life has gotten in the way of my writing ambitions and for the 12 readers that follow this I am very sorry. Ive always enjoyed writing here. I hope someday to be super active like I was in the past. I hope deep down I didnt stop writing because I became so jaded that I didnt think this mattered. If anything for a time it always mattered to me and then one day.....boom it was gone.

Work has its usual ups and downs. Had another guy promoted to the big leagues yesterday. Thats 5 total +8 40 man guys. Not bad for a one man band.

I made a very conscious decision to tone it down this year. I dont know why but in retrospect it seems like a very poor decision. I am going to do my best to really write as much as I can on here. Its been a tough time personally lately but as noted professionally Im the best ive ever been.

If anyone wants to reach me I can still be found at JoshuaKusnick@aol.com

Mahalo

J

Tallahassee

Hello again. Im writing from the road. I was just in KC now I am in SF and then I am heading home. This is turning into a very interesting year so far. I finally feel like I have gotten close to where I need to be with respect to my career. I'm doing things Ive never been in a position to do thus far and it is a very exciting time. I have the right players and teams are paying attention. Its honestly quite nice. I have done so much work preparing statistical analysis for the offseason in hopes of jump starting some negotiations and the response Ive gotten thus far is positive. I cant wait to see what the finished product looks like.

With all the joys of professional success it honestly has been hard to balance the personal life. I work so much I have left so little time to myself. I have my droid phone with a working old school NES system which keeps me busy, I have my very small group of friends, my family and my clients and thats it. If anyone ever wants to enter the industry be prepared to give up your life to this job. Only after you make, if you ever make it at all, will you have the opportunity to build up the family/personal life. I am really looking forward to that.

No real music news. Just a startling revelation that there are teenagers out there who believe Dave Grohl is a vastly more talented musician than kurt cobain was. Ugh. I shudder to think.

I think when I get home I may take a trip back to fsu. Its been way too long and I have the urge to relieve some of my college life. Im sure Ill write about it when it happens. I also turn 29 may 3rd. My last birthday of my 20's. I cant freaking believe it. Ive done alot during this decade and Ill do even more in the next.

Res Ipsa something something

J-