Why So Serious?

Another bout of insomnia waiting for phone calls that never come. The phone stopped rining at 1 am est and I have been reading financial data for about an hour mixed in with reruns of top chef, the dentist staring roger dorn, and about 15 minutes of the good son which ironically yet expectedly is very bad. I have to pack for Milwaukee today and make a billion more phone calls to teams and companies and whatever. I am setting up interviews for clients and myself. Searching for all star tickets that wont bankrupt me to give away and figuring out how to balance any form of a personal life. My social life is as dead as dillinger but I still have my personal life to cling to from time to time. Spring is almost here again and I will once again be reintroduced to my on again off again soulmate the road. I am starting to embrace this life more and more and dare I say I may have even matured just a tad. It's a strange process going from kid agent to just an agent. I have always wondered what the reaction would be like from my clients when I lose my youth and start to "normalize" myself to the job. I hope the transition goes smoothly because at the end of the day Im still the same crazy monster I make myself out to be.

Im thankful for a new regime in washington, it was long overdue.

My iron man like streak of going to the gym for 12 days in a row is still intact. I hate eliptical machines. HATE THEM.

Saw Gran Torino and Notorious. Overrated versus worst biopic on earth. I loved biggie growing up and this movie did nothing to aid the legacy. It was like watching fat albert play a rapper.

Thats it. Well that, and I am pulling for Heath Ledger today. (can you believe it's been a year already to the day? My god he's missed.)

Mahalo

J

Two for one today movie and music

I Dont Care If It's Old

Havent been here in 09 so here...we....go! Going to Milwaukee on friday for their fanfest, will get to see Taylor Green, Omar Aguilar and Alex Periard. Should be a good time and hope to get a lot of work done there. Getting ready for spring training. Brantley,Browning,Suomi all got big league invites last week. Trying hard to get our last two free agents signed and waiting for the industry to expand their budgets so I can more endorsement stuff finished.

The dark times are coming soon. Travel will begin again and I cant wait til it's over. I love it when Im working but man, travel takes its freaking toll.

Got a personal trainer last week and had this exchange.

Trainer: What are your personal fitness goals?
Josh: I dont really have any.
Trainer: Dont you want to change your life and feel better about yourself?
Josh: I like my life and I already feel pretty good about myself.
Trainer: Dont you want to live longer?
Josh: Not really.
Trainer: What the hell are you doing here then?
Josh: I have no idea.

Also my baseball america story finally ran and was on their homepage for the weekend. I thought Id be more excited about that moment but it is what it is. I appreciate it, I really do but it's a weird feeling. Thats all I can say

Happy new president in the oval office day.

Mahalo

J

This Is Just A Fond Farewell To A Friend

It's over. All this stuff. All these things. Everything thats happened this cycle. Over.Done. Overdone. To paraphrase a hero this foul year of Our Lord, two-thousand-eight. Im scared of 2009. I have long dreaded the year I was to become 27. Heroes have died at that age, better men and women than I. Kurt Cobain for one obvious one. I dont waste time thinking about the future because it will soon become a thing of the past. I know there will be hurdles, I know there will be joy, and as always pain and angst. The goods and bads are constant and sharp. It's the only thing you can rely on in this life that everything keeps going with or without you. You hang on as long as you can until the train conductor finally says enough and kicks you off the fucking train with papers left behind, drinks to fill, and parties to attend. Life is what happens when you're too disoriented to notice whats going on. I embrace it sometimes I loathe it the others but I guess the end sum is Im still here for something. I hope 2009 is great for the people I care about and maybe even a few of the others I dont. If they were gone who would I have to hate?

Peace Love and a World of empathy

Jay Eh? Kay

What Else Could I Write? I Dont Wanna Fight.

In life people make choices then they have to deal with the consequences of their decisions. Ive made mostly good choices in my life to this point. Thats how I've gotten this far without going crazy. I've survived 40 major surgeries, I survived college, I survived high school, and now I'm surviving baseball. Thats what I do. I survive. Nobody is going to tell me I cant do something and eventually in the end I usually get my way. Every so often what one thinks is a good choice becomes a good choices with a price. There is a cost benefit to everything in this world and even choices that seem good can end up bad. You try your best to resolve the paradox between choice and choicessness but in the end no matter how hard you try someone is a loser and someone is upset. Sometimes you're both and sometimes you're neither. Is personal happiness or the idea of personal happiness worth the cost of getting there? Is it sometimes better to sacrafice your own wants in life for the betterment of others? Is it sometimes enough being a good friend if you're sad on the inside? Who knows? Who cares? I obviously have made choices in my life some in the past some very recent that have been good, bad, or just dumb. Experience comes with age but somethings you can only learn by doing. I hope I have made enough good choices in life to overcome the bad ones. Especially ones that affect other people that I have cared for.

Peace Love Empathy

J

I Am Become Death The Destroyer Of Worlds

All is well from the trail. Im busy. With everything. Life, work, everything. Trying to listen to radiohead, trying to listen to nirvana. Meeting with companies, meeting with clients. Setting up travel plans, setting up deals. Somewhere inbetween my job I am trying to have a life. Back with my girlfriend (thank god) and I am balanced again. Nothing overly substantial to report just wanted to write a short something.

Here is the interview I did in the M.J.S that was published today. I am humbled by this and a bit embarrassed but it's out there so may as well post it here.

Hope all is well

J

http://www.jsonline.com/sports/brewers/36471284.html

Cornering the market
Josh Kusnick does not represent every player in the Brewers' farm system. It only seems like it.

At one time or another, Kusnick has represented 18 of the Brewers' minor-league players. Some were traded away, but the vice president of Double Diamond Sports Management still has 13 players in Milwaukee's system.

That group includes some of the organization's top prospects, including outfielder Lorenzo Cain, third baseman Taylor Green, shortstop Brent Brewer and pitchers Jeremy Jeffress, Omar Aguilar, Alex Periard and Luis Pena.

"It's really a unique situation," said Kusnick, who founded his Florida-based agency with his father, Howard, in 2002. "We have players in many other organizations but nothing even close to the number we have with the Brewers."

Only 26, Kusnick accumulated his stable of Brewers' prospects in large part via word of mouth among those players. It began in 2005 with the signing of Cain and outfielder Darren Ford, who was traded to San Francisco in July in the Ray Durham deal.

The large number of clients represented by Kusnick allows the Brewers to do one-stop shopping in contract talks and other matters. On the flip side, Kusnick has to work hard to keep his players happy because it's easy for them to compare notes.

"We minimalize conflicts, as best we can," said Kusnick, who regularly stays up until 3 a.m. during the season so players on the West Coast can call him after games if necessary.

"I have to work harder because I have the stigma of being so young. But they know I'll look out for them and do everything I can to help them. We're available 24 hours a day. We don't promise anything we can't deliver.

"We've always had a great working relationship with the Brewers. They've done a good job of pushing their prospects (through the system). Some of our guys have been the youngest players in their leagues."

Kusnick found himself in an interesting situation last July after the Brewers acquired CC Sabathia from Cleveland for top prospect Matt LaPorta and three other minor-leaguers, one of which was "to be named later." Word soon leaked out that outfielder Michael Brantley and Green, both clients of Kusnick, were on that short list.

As it turned out, the Indians got to make the selection if Milwaukee made the playoffs and the Brewers had the call if they didn't. After Sabathia pitched the Brewers to the National League wild-card berth, Cleveland selected Brantley.

"(Brantley and Green) were calling me just about every day, wanting to know if I had heard anything," said Kusnick. "But they both handled it very well. It was a drain mentally, but it didn't affect their play."

As for the possibility that one day he might represent half of the Brewers' big-league roster, Kusnick laughed and said, "I try not to think that far ahead. It's a nice thought. I just want it to work out for our players."
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Red Wine And Sleeping Pills Help Me Get Back To Your Arms

No matter how much I ignore the obvious or state my supposed disdain for it, baseball balances me. When you break through everything that I have to do to perform my job, it's the game that balances me. The game makes me happy, the game makes sense, and the game is safe. No matter where you're at it's always familiar and everyone knows where to find it. It's peace and it's an escape. At the heart of the monster lies the joy. People come and go, places change, and lives stop but in the end the game lives on to give a sense of familiarity to everyone who wants to take part.

It's the normal things I think I miss more than anything. Friends are starting their lives, getting married, growing up and being normal. Ive mentioned it before here, I think thats what I miss the most. I miss the idea that one day Im going to grow up and have a normal life. The life, the wife, the house, the 9-5, that dream is dead to me completely. It's like sometimes Im almost living someone elses dream and I cant trade back. Im thankful some of the time but I wonder all of the time. Im on the road constantly (which is a major point on the blog) and I dont ever have time for anything but the job. Im married to it, it's my wife. (Life is a bitch but Im sure glad the bitch aint divorce me, NAS).

I think Im overly sore tonight because I had to end another relationship. I thought this time I found a really good one. I absolutely loved talking to her above anything else because I really felt like she got me. I had a genuine and deep connection with her because of some of the things we both went through. I fell in love with her because I felt for the first time in a very long long time this girl actually got me and I think she felt the same because I think I really got her. I tried hard to be 100 percent open this time and I gave it my all but it wasnt meant to be. Sometimes no matter how much you care about someone or how hard you try to make things work, the other person really doesnt understand what they've done to you or how much they actually hurt you even if it wasnt on purpose. She really really hurt me bad this time. I dont even think she has any idea but it is what it is. I think this one is a wonderful and beautiful human being. Probably one in a billion to say the least. I am bitterly disappointed that it didnt work out but there is only so much one can take without just saying it's time. I dont know if Ill ever talk to her again but I hope so. So Im single again. Fun! (sarcasm)

Sorry for the personal rant tonight. It is what it is.

Peace Love Empathy

J

Wide Awake At 4 In The Morning Killing Time On The Blue Highway

Back to basics and back to baseball. The rule 5 draft was yesterday and mercifully brought a close to the winter meetings at the bellagio. I'm happy it's over to be honest with you. 18 hour days are never fun even in baseball. The ballroom was packed and this years rule 5 went substantially faster than last years. One of my clients was selected in the big league phase while three players swapped teams in the minor league phase. I got to talk to some old friends and important people in the room during and after the draft. The media was there in full force and got to see some very good people I havent seen in a long time.

Several members of the national media came up to me and introduced themselves to me. "Oh you're Josh Kusnick, Im happy to meet you" Why anyone would be happy to meet me is beyond me. I'm still nobody and havent done anything remotely substantial yet, so to me, it's a bit premature, but hey Ill take it. It's so bizarre having people you have never met in your life know who you are. I dont think Ill ever get used to that.

Which brings me to................I did an interview with Tom Haudricourt on tuesday, it will be in the MJS on sunday (or the next sunday) and in baseball america eventually. I have known Tom forever and figured it was the right time to do a story with him. I've stayed out of that kind of stuff forever because after all none of this is about me. I'm not the story, it's always 100 percent about the players. Without them I'm nobody in this business. Hopefully that comes through.

Thats it, back to the real world.

Mahalo

J