I Made An Easy Friend

 So this year it has been 28 years since Kurt died at age 27. Hes been dead longer than he was alive, a fate shared by literally everyone who has ever lived. The difference here is that Kurt was here already when I was born then died when I was 11. And now im 28 years later and the music matters as much now as it did when I was a kid. People come and go. They disappoint you. They arent perfect. But music is forever. The things you make end up being made better than the person who made them. That happens. Thats life. 

My own life has been so fucked up from jump Immediately related to Kurt Cobain. His mom has the same name as my own too. Kurt said he always felt like an alien and that he got dropped on earth alone. Then through life different other aliens would enter his life and theyd find each other and wouldnt be alone anymore. I get it. Still do.

I never knew the person. I own some of his things. I love the art. All of it. I learned so much from his life. Im grateful for the record. 

His ethos lives on in people like me.  The in utero liner notes said 

"If any of you in any way hate homosexuals, people of different color, or women, please do this one favor for us-leave us the fuck alone! Don't come to our shows and don't buy our records."

I live this everday. I try so hard to live up to this myself everyday. I fuck up alot. But ill always try to do better. Cant quit. I learned that myself.

My rage has lessened at age 39. Ill be 40 soon. Life is never whats in your head. Im an athiest but these words spoke to me in a way nothing else has in the 28 years since I first heard them. Kurt once said

Hate your enemies

Save your friends

Find your place

Speak the truth

I live that every day too. Its exhausting and isolating but I sleep ok knowing I help my friends and I dont lie. One day I still hope to find my place and someone to do all this with. Solitude is peaceful and addicting but its not in my nature to stop. Andbagainst logic I still hate my enemies. Im trying really hard not to. I still do. But im trying.

Res ipsa Loquitor

Peace Love Empathy

Jak