Forever In Debt For Your Priceless Advice

Another year another april 5. The blog is dead but april 5 I still enjoy remembering kurt cobain. 19 years. Its like visiting with an old familiar friend. It reminds me of my youth good times and bad. I lived out a dream this year having drain you played at my wedding. It was a great day and im very lucky to have found my. I feel so far removed frombmy discovery of nirvana. I guess this is how beatles fans must feel. The sense of sadness over his death is always there the lament of all the songs well never get to hear and the overall sensation of feeling cheated isbas strong today as ever. The music never gets old. For me at least. I go months between listening to them now. Music always helped define me. Jeff buckley elliott smith kurt cobain helped me express my sadness through their words. Im not sad anymore my personal life is stable and I just dont have a need to lament things that never were since I almost have all I want in life. That does not mean nirvana and kurt cobain have been erased from my life the music has evolved to mean something else now at thirty years old. The music helps me remember everything good and bad aboutlife and no longer plays an active role in my life. Ill always love kurt cobains music and lament his death. Iveoutlived kurt by three years which always feels strange to me. I never knew him so it shouldnt be that way butbhe was a generational hero and musical savior and that is why everyone still listens to nirvana. Im glad hes not forgotten and im glad to have the music but like everything written or said about kurt today theres that postscript that he died way too young. He was a father and husband and should have stuck around for them and if he had wed all geto share the music as a very special ancilary benefit. I miss the joy of getting a new nirvana record. Im sad ill never do that again but am grateful for the memories of youth I got from kurts music. Peace love empathy kurt cobain.I hope youve found your peace somewhere I the universe that eluded you here. Peace love empathy to all J