Wednesday, December 31, 2008

This Is Just A Fond Farewell To A Friend

It's over. All this stuff. All these things. Everything thats happened this cycle. Over.Done. Overdone. To paraphrase a hero this foul year of Our Lord, two-thousand-eight. Im scared of 2009. I have long dreaded the year I was to become 27. Heroes have died at that age, better men and women than I. Kurt Cobain for one obvious one. I dont waste time thinking about the future because it will soon become a thing of the past. I know there will be hurdles, I know there will be joy, and as always pain and angst. The goods and bads are constant and sharp. It's the only thing you can rely on in this life that everything keeps going with or without you. You hang on as long as you can until the train conductor finally says enough and kicks you off the fucking train with papers left behind, drinks to fill, and parties to attend. Life is what happens when you're too disoriented to notice whats going on. I embrace it sometimes I loathe it the others but I guess the end sum is Im still here for something. I hope 2009 is great for the people I care about and maybe even a few of the others I dont. If they were gone who would I have to hate?

Peace Love and a World of empathy

Jay Eh? Kay

Monday, December 22, 2008

What Else Could I Write? I Dont Wanna Fight.

In life people make choices then they have to deal with the consequences of their decisions. Ive made mostly good choices in my life to this point. Thats how I've gotten this far without going crazy. I've survived 40 major surgeries, I survived college, I survived high school, and now I'm surviving baseball. Thats what I do. I survive. Nobody is going to tell me I cant do something and eventually in the end I usually get my way. Every so often what one thinks is a good choice becomes a good choices with a price. There is a cost benefit to everything in this world and even choices that seem good can end up bad. You try your best to resolve the paradox between choice and choicessness but in the end no matter how hard you try someone is a loser and someone is upset. Sometimes you're both and sometimes you're neither. Is personal happiness or the idea of personal happiness worth the cost of getting there? Is it sometimes better to sacrafice your own wants in life for the betterment of others? Is it sometimes enough being a good friend if you're sad on the inside? Who knows? Who cares? I obviously have made choices in my life some in the past some very recent that have been good, bad, or just dumb. Experience comes with age but somethings you can only learn by doing. I hope I have made enough good choices in life to overcome the bad ones. Especially ones that affect other people that I have cared for.

Peace Love Empathy


Sunday, December 21, 2008

I Am Become Death The Destroyer Of Worlds

All is well from the trail. Im busy. With everything. Life, work, everything. Trying to listen to radiohead, trying to listen to nirvana. Meeting with companies, meeting with clients. Setting up travel plans, setting up deals. Somewhere inbetween my job I am trying to have a life. Back with my girlfriend (thank god) and I am balanced again. Nothing overly substantial to report just wanted to write a short something.

Here is the interview I did in the M.J.S that was published today. I am humbled by this and a bit embarrassed but it's out there so may as well post it here.

Hope all is well


Cornering the market
Josh Kusnick does not represent every player in the Brewers' farm system. It only seems like it.

At one time or another, Kusnick has represented 18 of the Brewers' minor-league players. Some were traded away, but the vice president of Double Diamond Sports Management still has 13 players in Milwaukee's system.

That group includes some of the organization's top prospects, including outfielder Lorenzo Cain, third baseman Taylor Green, shortstop Brent Brewer and pitchers Jeremy Jeffress, Omar Aguilar, Alex Periard and Luis Pena.

"It's really a unique situation," said Kusnick, who founded his Florida-based agency with his father, Howard, in 2002. "We have players in many other organizations but nothing even close to the number we have with the Brewers."

Only 26, Kusnick accumulated his stable of Brewers' prospects in large part via word of mouth among those players. It began in 2005 with the signing of Cain and outfielder Darren Ford, who was traded to San Francisco in July in the Ray Durham deal.

The large number of clients represented by Kusnick allows the Brewers to do one-stop shopping in contract talks and other matters. On the flip side, Kusnick has to work hard to keep his players happy because it's easy for them to compare notes.

"We minimalize conflicts, as best we can," said Kusnick, who regularly stays up until 3 a.m. during the season so players on the West Coast can call him after games if necessary.

"I have to work harder because I have the stigma of being so young. But they know I'll look out for them and do everything I can to help them. We're available 24 hours a day. We don't promise anything we can't deliver.

"We've always had a great working relationship with the Brewers. They've done a good job of pushing their prospects (through the system). Some of our guys have been the youngest players in their leagues."

Kusnick found himself in an interesting situation last July after the Brewers acquired CC Sabathia from Cleveland for top prospect Matt LaPorta and three other minor-leaguers, one of which was "to be named later." Word soon leaked out that outfielder Michael Brantley and Green, both clients of Kusnick, were on that short list.

As it turned out, the Indians got to make the selection if Milwaukee made the playoffs and the Brewers had the call if they didn't. After Sabathia pitched the Brewers to the National League wild-card berth, Cleveland selected Brantley.

"(Brantley and Green) were calling me just about every day, wanting to know if I had heard anything," said Kusnick. "But they both handled it very well. It was a drain mentally, but it didn't affect their play."

As for the possibility that one day he might represent half of the Brewers' big-league roster, Kusnick laughed and said, "I try not to think that far ahead. It's a nice thought. I just want it to work out for our players."

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Red Wine And Sleeping Pills Help Me Get Back To Your Arms

No matter how much I ignore the obvious or state my supposed disdain for it, baseball balances me. When you break through everything that I have to do to perform my job, it's the game that balances me. The game makes me happy, the game makes sense, and the game is safe. No matter where you're at it's always familiar and everyone knows where to find it. It's peace and it's an escape. At the heart of the monster lies the joy. People come and go, places change, and lives stop but in the end the game lives on to give a sense of familiarity to everyone who wants to take part.

It's the normal things I think I miss more than anything. Friends are starting their lives, getting married, growing up and being normal. Ive mentioned it before here, I think thats what I miss the most. I miss the idea that one day Im going to grow up and have a normal life. The life, the wife, the house, the 9-5, that dream is dead to me completely. It's like sometimes Im almost living someone elses dream and I cant trade back. Im thankful some of the time but I wonder all of the time. Im on the road constantly (which is a major point on the blog) and I dont ever have time for anything but the job. Im married to it, it's my wife. (Life is a bitch but Im sure glad the bitch aint divorce me, NAS).

I think Im overly sore tonight because I had to end another relationship. I thought this time I found a really good one. I absolutely loved talking to her above anything else because I really felt like she got me. I had a genuine and deep connection with her because of some of the things we both went through. I fell in love with her because I felt for the first time in a very long long time this girl actually got me and I think she felt the same because I think I really got her. I tried hard to be 100 percent open this time and I gave it my all but it wasnt meant to be. Sometimes no matter how much you care about someone or how hard you try to make things work, the other person really doesnt understand what they've done to you or how much they actually hurt you even if it wasnt on purpose. She really really hurt me bad this time. I dont even think she has any idea but it is what it is. I think this one is a wonderful and beautiful human being. Probably one in a billion to say the least. I am bitterly disappointed that it didnt work out but there is only so much one can take without just saying it's time. I dont know if Ill ever talk to her again but I hope so. So Im single again. Fun! (sarcasm)

Sorry for the personal rant tonight. It is what it is.

Peace Love Empathy


Friday, December 12, 2008

Wide Awake At 4 In The Morning Killing Time On The Blue Highway

Back to basics and back to baseball. The rule 5 draft was yesterday and mercifully brought a close to the winter meetings at the bellagio. I'm happy it's over to be honest with you. 18 hour days are never fun even in baseball. The ballroom was packed and this years rule 5 went substantially faster than last years. One of my clients was selected in the big league phase while three players swapped teams in the minor league phase. I got to talk to some old friends and important people in the room during and after the draft. The media was there in full force and got to see some very good people I havent seen in a long time.

Several members of the national media came up to me and introduced themselves to me. "Oh you're Josh Kusnick, Im happy to meet you" Why anyone would be happy to meet me is beyond me. I'm still nobody and havent done anything remotely substantial yet, so to me, it's a bit premature, but hey Ill take it. It's so bizarre having people you have never met in your life know who you are. I dont think Ill ever get used to that.

Which brings me to................I did an interview with Tom Haudricourt on tuesday, it will be in the MJS on sunday (or the next sunday) and in baseball america eventually. I have known Tom forever and figured it was the right time to do a story with him. I've stayed out of that kind of stuff forever because after all none of this is about me. I'm not the story, it's always 100 percent about the players. Without them I'm nobody in this business. Hopefully that comes through.

Thats it, back to the real world.



I Cant Hide, No.

What to do with this blog? Some say I take things too far (I disagree) while others say I dont go far enough (too bad). I have long been fascinated with the general idea of the public eye. For all I care the public eye could go blind and I would be just the same. The idea that there is an obligation for those in the spotlight, no matter how dimly lit, owe the public "something" is absolutely beyond me. It frightens me to think what is going to happen with the rest of my career no matter how irrelevant publicly I think (or know) I am people will still demand things from me. I apologize in advance but I dont feel that I owe anybody that doesnt know me anything. I dont owe stories and I dont owe answers. I am not owned by anyone and I dont own anybody else.

Why cant things just be as they are? Why is there this incessant demand to be in the "know"? I'm in the know and let me tell you it isnt anything spectacular. It just is. Maybe it's because Im not a sports fan I dont identify with the idea of needing to know everything that goes on. I just take things as they are and deal with them. I dont fault anyone when I dont know something and if I really want to research something I do it on my own. I never demand answers from strangers and since I began this experiment I have gotten letter after letter demanding more. More clarity, more answers, more explanations, more more more! Well there isnt more. There isnt anything else. This is as good as things are going to get and it isnt going to change. Take this all for what it is or dont. Keep reading or leave me to my rantings. It's all the same to me.

I started this blog to do two things. Clear my head (check!) and help give fans a glimpse (only a glimpse) on what life is really like for someone working in the sports business without any filters. No delusions of grandeur, no idyllic love of sport, just facts as the way the unfold through my eyes. If it's not enough then I'm sorry to have disappointed but it is what it is. The fact that I discuss whatever it is I discuss here does not give people the right to harass or berate me for not giving the people what they want. I am not doing this for personal gain and I am not doing this for PR. If anything the vast majority of the PR has been negative, so there's that.

Thats the rant. I will keep this thing going for a while I would imagine. Come as you are.


Thursday, December 11, 2008

Don't F**k Around, Man. This Is Serious. One More Hour In This Town And I'll Kill Somebody!

My last night in vegas for a while. 18 hour days every day for what seems like an eternity. Wake up at planet hollywood end up in the bellagio. Taxi to the civic center, taxi back to the bellagio, and crash into planet hollywood. Meetings with companies, meetings with teams, meetings in hallways, meetings in suites. Trades and trade shows, interviews and tv. It's one big blur and it's all happening in the Las Vegas.

Finished the majority of my work (still have two players that are free agents), did my first interview with baseball america (which will be out hopefully sunday in the MJC in milwaukee) Got good news on players, bad news on other players, finished endorsement deals, and am awaiting the rule 5 draft that is in 8 hours.

I ran into Mark Shapiro at the bellagio, introduced myself, and he said he had read my quotes/blog. A jarring experience but it is what it is. I find it amazing that anyone reads this but I guess I appreciate it. Im just writing a stream of thought trying to clear my head every so often in an attempt to deal with arguably the most bizarre career I could ever find. Strange happenings and dangerous magic appear at every corner. Im here for the long haul

See you on the road

Peace Love


Saturday, December 6, 2008

I’ll Take A Quiet Life,A Handshake,Some Carbon Monoxide

The world series of my job, the biggest show, the finest point, the top of the mountain, the greatest joy, my highest thrill, and its only 96 hours long. Im headed to Vegas and I am going to the Winter Meetings again. It's all work and no play this time. I have no time for games, this is serious work for a serious man. I take this job seriously and I know this week is all serious. This is serious business and I am serious when I say that I will act serious the entire time I am out there. Hundreds of vendors, 30 teams, hundreds of people, and even some subhuman other agents. I will see them there and that will sum up my interaction with that group. I will charm it up, speak clearly, smile, dress well, talk fast, be smart, have lots of energy and most importantly I will get the job done. I will go out there and achieve every goal I have set and I will best every milestone I have already done. This will be a special year for a special agency and a special group of clients. 3 hours until I have to wake up. See you at the rule 5 draft.